Nope. You are welcome to undress to the level of your personal comfort. For some, that means leaving some clothes or underwear on, while for others it means getting naked.

There is no right or wrong.

There is only - what feels right to you today, in this moment? It can change every time you come, and I'll go with your flow.

And this question has two close cousins - If I am, how much? and Will you be offended if I don't leave a tip?

You do not have to leave a tip.

There is no expectation, and no pressure here for that. There really isn't.

If you want to leave a tip, I welcome that, as it helps support the work I do for others for free, or at a reduced rate. Sometimes I just buy myself a chai latte, and feel warm and cozy inside.

If you want to "leave a tip" but don't have extra money - sometimes people will bring me flowers from their yard, a jar of jam or honey, or eggs from their chickens. It doesn't have to be about money.

And, remember - there is NO expectation, no pressure.

It's such a tricky thing, sometimes, isn't it? If it's challenging for us to speak for our needs in general, it becomes even more challenging when we are in a position of vulnerability - like, laying face down on someone's massage table.

It helps me a lot if I know before hand that this can be tricky for you.

We can name it, and have it be part of the experience, rather than it being something that you are carrying alone, and maybe worrying about for the first half hour, or even your whole session.

It makes so much sense that some of us would have trouble with telling a practitioner we aren't enjoying what they're doing. Especially if we have trauma in our background, or attachment wounds that make it difficult for us to believe that asking for our needs to be met will be received with warmth and generosity.

I can remember being on massage tables as a client, in the past, and just wishing the practitioner would go rub my other shoulder, or my leg, but not being able to say anything.

Given my history, it makes so much sense. It did change for me when I started working with a practitioner who purposefully helped me to feel safe enough to speak up during a session. She would ask me questions like - "And where would your body like to receive direct touch now?" and "Has your shoulder had enough, or would it like more?"

I use these questions now, when I know that someone may struggle with this issue. It helps so so so much.

It might feel weird and awkward, and may make you nervous the first time, but it gets easier every single time! It really does.

Your voice, and the experience of your body's voice, are the most important things in the room.

If you meet me, and something in your system says "No, this is not a good fit", then I really hope you'll feel safe to leave.

I actually did this once.

I was lucky that the practitioner was also 20 minutes late, so I had the excuse of "I don't have enough time now, so I'm just going to head out." This was way back, when I didn't feel safe to speak for my needs or what did or didn't feel right to me.

I had heard the practitioner talking to her other client at the reception desk as the client was leaving, and my whole body was just saying "NO. I do NOT want to go do this." And I was sweating! I was so grateful I had an excuse to leave.

Now I know I could just speak to the practitioner and see if something was coming up from my past - am I having a little bit of a flashback? Am I feeling unsafe because I'm dissociated?

How the practitioner meets what I bring to them in that moment tells my system whether it’s safe to stay, or whether I just need to go.

Trust your body.

Listen to your body.

I will do the same thing.

I will trust that your system is saying what is best for it, for whatever reason, and I will have no hurt feelings or residual anything.

I'm a safe person to say no to.

I'm a safe person to reject.

It seems like a super specific request, doesn't it?

And for some of us, that would make us feel like we are late! For others, that would feel uncomfortably early.

And for some of us nerurospicy people, being on time is such a challenge that we might laugh - don't worry, I won't be there early! (that's me)

I don't have a waiting room, and I need every minute between clients to reset the room and refresh myself. It's when I grab a quick bite to eat, when I use the washroom, when I stretch my back.

I need all the minutes between clients to take care of myself so that I can show up fully resourced and ready to go when you come in.

Yes.

My pricing structure has changed to a sliding scale model, which some people have a lot of ease with, while others find it stressful.

And if you're coming for a session because your nervous system needs help calming down, having to figure out money stuff can feel very not-calming.

So, we can talk about it.

You don't have to figure it out by yourself.

I can help you figure out what to do.